pokemon and computer science and regrets

I don't really regret a lot of things in my life. It's a funny thing that i thought about the other day. I always do what i feel is right at the time so really and truly even if i find out later that i miss informed i don't regret my actions. i hate having to take things back. i'd rather charge ahead and make progress rather then turn around and ponder the ones behind me. sure every so often you need to look back on your life and ponder the things you did and learn from them. but there's no reason to try and change the past. live for today and dream for tomorrow. you can quote me if you want.

The last few weeks have been full of sleepless nights and busy days. i've been tirelessly working away at finishing the coding of my game and finally after everything a week late i got assignment 2 done. see cause in order to finish assignment 3 i have to have a working assignment 2. so that's what happened. but that's all fine and dandy i guess all in all it's going well and our teacher really likes our game since we put him in it.

i fucking caught a ho-oh with one quick ball on only my second time of trying. fucking awesome. pokewalkers are also the bomb just wanted to let you all know.

getting lost and best friends and broken hearts

alix: "i'm borrrrrrrrred"
me:"i'm playing pokemon...."
alix: lameo
me: "don't you have a bf to hang out with right now?"
alix: "no he's being lame..."
me: "oh. well. i guess we could hang out. Mett me at the park in 20 minutes i wanna beat this trainer"

meet up 20 minutes later

me:"so i almost brought my gameboy...."
alix:"i almost brought my gameboy cause i thought you'd almost bring yours"
me:"let's get lost. you have a gps right?"

1 hour later of awesome fun and doing stupid things while going 150 km/h

me:"FOLLOW THAT GUY!"
alix:"OK!"

we then accidentally found our way home after exiting city limits and preceded to go to the park to go swing.

fucking best night ever.

my heart is gold and my soul is silver and my geodude is shiny

so i started playin heart gold and soul silver, on my first trip into the dark cave i fond a shiny geodude it had to be the best thing ever, fuckin caught and apparently it has pretty good stats. kinda tempted to train it but i trained one in my play through of fire red so iunno what to do....

currently my team is made of the following bayleef, flaffy and spearow i want to star training either a poliwag or a slowpoke soon to add to my team.

i'm planning on using donphan and scyther/scizor as my last 2 pokemon, should be ballin'.

on a different note. i've been programming like a bus lately. it hasn't been fun at all mind you it is my fault for leaving it till the last minute, it's really cutting into my pokemon time. my game works pretty well if i do say so myself, it's doin some weird things at the moment but i hope to have it working perfectly soon... UHG then i have to do a writeup about and i have to write the draft for my stupid essay tonight as well!!!

things i just don't get/realized

So as i'm walking off the bus at school i look around and notice that there are a lot of people in "business wear." thing is that i look at the girls and what their wearing is considered to be business wear but there was one girl wearing super short short and another girl in booty shorts both wearing super high heels that they can hardly walk in. i think wtf. ok so there's a job fair today and they are obviously going there to try and get a job. but to me it seems that presenting yourself as a whore by night who can't walk fast enough to make sure that report is on mr jones desk by 3pm sharp is just plain stupid. it'll be funny though considering most of the employer booths have women behind them. Good luck trying to get them to fall in love with you therefore higher you. which is another thing, why the hell would you want a potential boss seeing you dressed all sluty but still business like? Are you trying to get fucked for a promotion? do anything it takes to make it to the top and get the best position? just doesn't make any sense to me. sigh.

Another thing i realized that's on a totally different note. Friend. Galileo or plato (can't remember who) said that a true friend is a second self. It's kinda interesting how true that is. I've been through a lot of friends, i'll be the first to admit to it, and there are a lot of people that come and go in my life. BUT i have 1 friends that has actually always unbiasedly been there, even when we fight we still end up being friends a few weeks later. generally it's cause i cave and say "yeah so i was a retard bffs?" but again i've been put into a situation where yeah i kinda do want to do that, but if a true friend is a second self, shouldn't they want to as well? shouldn't that person have the dignity and morals to come and talk to me? It's funny cause they're probably reading this right now and thinking "what an asshole" or "maybe i should" or they don't even realize it's about them. Really and truly though, if i wanted to remain friends and continue to work things out i would, but this want to not, it proves a point really. a friend will bail you out of a jail, a true friend will be sitting beside you behind bars "man we really fucked up" funny thing is i now know the difference and i understand it enough to tell who is who. when shit really goes down you can always tell who's who, always.

so to my friend thinking that this is about you, it probably isn't but why haven't you called in the last month?

things i hate v3.0

1. feminists. k i'll start with this. Women can do whatever the hell they like, i seriously don't care. BUT, they can be very annoying sometimes and it makes me laugh so much when they say that they hate it when women try and make themselves all pretty but aren't they doing the same on some level? uhg. iunno i don't get it we won't go into it anymore, they just annoy me sometimes.

2. being a procrastinator. If someone asked me what my worst quality was i'd tell them "iunno i'll figure it out later" yeah that was a joke guys. i'm a procrastinator to no ends. it's pretty bad to be honest. sometimes i'll even procrastinate procrastinating.... i don't know how that works but we'll figure it out some other time. haha i just typed what i thought didn't mean for the pun. right now i'm suppose to be doing my homework and yet what am i doing? writing on my blog that only a handful of people read, some of which....we won't get into. but beside the point procrastinating. it's a horrible thing

3. philosophy. It's so open to debate that you can pretty much create any sort of world you wish with any rules at all and be able to present it as a model of our world. it makes me laugh i guess because a perfect model is a model that can not be disputed but that doesn't mean it's right. alas philosophy greatly amuses me and i enjoy reading and writing about it in my spare time. yuh, not just for school bitches.

4. people who think they're always right. this kinda ties into the philosophy and feminist thing but i thought i'd make it a separate entity as to be able to talk about it in general and not repeat myself. These people make me want too kill babies. My mother is very much like this. I can't argue anything with her because as she thinks she's always right she'll change things that happened and change what they mean to fit her needs. it is very annoying. in my moms world the sky isn't blue and it was never blue. the sky is w.e color she wants it to be and that's just the way it is.

5. animes that go main stream. i do a lot of research in up and coming animes i'd like to think of my self as well informed and i read a lot of different things and even WATCH animes before i decide if i like them or not and wish to follow them. For the last little bit there hasn't been an anime out that i don't know something about and don't have an opinion about. SO when i start to see an anime get OVERLY popular like bleach or naruto i start to get scared. It means that now the creators have a market meaning they can decrease quality for quantity. it just kinda sickens me...like one piece for example is awesome. everyone knows about it and those that like it love it and know everything about it BUT you don't go to ota fest and see a million people dressed up like luffy, like you would for naruto or bleach or deathnote. it's those fake anime fans that really get to me. it's like watching certain animes declares your social status or something and that in order to be popular you have to know about the popular animes. but seriously guys bleach sucks right now, shippuden isn't bad but i don't like it as much anymore and code geass r2 pretty much sucked k?

6. fucking homework. nuff said.

7. i was gonna devote a blog post to this all on it's own but i think i'll just write it all here. i steal peoples word and phrases. APPARENTLY even the ones i thought i came up with were actually taken from someone else. the only one i know for sure is mine is typo trolls.... and maybe mrrrr not pronounced mister. even my fav iunno was stolen it's sad....

8. fucking stupid songs that get stuck in your head. example party in the usa by god dman fucking miley cyrus. fuck i hate it.

9. running out of things to rant about but still wanting to rant....

pretty meaningful.

curtain call, it's the final show. This is goodbye. You'll see me again but i'll be playing a different role.

just curious or overly paranoid?

So I've been doing a lot of self reflecting recently and trying to understand myself, figure out why exactly i do the things i do and understand how my thoughts and feelings get turned into action.

So i started thinking about my curiosity I'd have to say I'm curious like a kitten. I like to know things, i want facts and details and explanations, a lot of times it's about things i don't even need to know or perhaps something i shouldn't know. We'll look at interior reasons for my curiosity and disregard any exterior reasons.

This brings me to my point, is my curiosity purely curiosity is or it based off of paranoia. As i was thinking about things i started to realize that i can be overly paranoid about things at time, which is normal. BUT i think it's actually more than that, i may actually be so paranoid that i use "curiosity" as a cover for it.

I end up thinking "if they can't tell me that it must be bad, if it's bad it must be about me. therefore this is something i need to know" which to me rationalizes the process of getting something out of said person. It's interesting, i may not actually be curious, just paranoid about not knowing everything.

In ethics class we discussed that authentic happiness leads to a good quality of life. Authentic happiness is made up of knowing all the relevant facts and being autonomous. For example in the situation of Betty the housewife, she lives her whole life happy knowing her husband loves her, bu before she dies he tells her that he cheated on her multiple times. All though the women may say she had a happy life it wasn't a good life, because she hat at the time based that happiness on the what she thought was a fact that her husband was only devoted to her, when he wasn't.

however there is a point where you just can't care about things and certain knowledge doesn't lead towards a better quality of life because you can't know everything. It's a very interesting dilemma, one which i seem to take care of by trying to know and understand everything, which in turn only causes me more pain generally than good. So i guess i'm paranoid about not knowing something important that i base my quality of life off of...

Wow. Some food for thought.